i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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