It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
