Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
