Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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