I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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