Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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