Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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