Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
