I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's rum buckets o'clock
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
