He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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