Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
