I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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