best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
