a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
