I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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