And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
