Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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