On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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