somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Randomize
