I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize