I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
