Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
