Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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