I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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