How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
