So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize