I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
