I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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