I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
