I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
