? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
