Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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