Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
