My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
