While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
