Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
