I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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