you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It was like getting head from an anaconda
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
