went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
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It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
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I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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