There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
