I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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