He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
