I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
