WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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