is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
they need to just BURY HIM!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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