I bet he comes in French.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
