chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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