I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
