mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
