The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
