Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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