i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
