How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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