he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
