Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
