I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
