Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
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i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
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Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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