why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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