I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
